What the...?

What a Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy!

2006-04-04T00:52:00.000-06:00

Consider the resources that are spent into expressing love. Money splurged on roses, chocolate, nice dinners, and making sure we smell nice. Movies make millions if they properly formulate the romanticized concept of what love should look like. Millions made from girls who make their men pay more money to watch them. Pity the male gender.
We know we can never meet the expectations of that beautiful man on the silver screen. God knows we’ll try. We’ll keep buying more roses and chocolate. If the mood strikes, we may even write crappy poems/songs/haikus for them. We’ll keep trying because despite the physical and mental impossibilities, we want to be those wonderful men that girls love in the movies. Unfortunately, we don’t have the budget for all the nice clothes and fancy scriptwriters. Ladies, please remember men are trying to be movie stars with a minimum wage fiscal plan. We do it for you. Because if we didn’t, you would have nothing to do with us.
The stupid thing about those movies is that they cram an entire relationship into 2.5 hours. Two cases in point: A Walk To Remember (stupid stupid stupid). The Notebook (which was actually well-done).
On planet earth, men are lucky if we go that long without saying something stupid.
The thing is, we all want love. All those stupid movies are by-products of that longing. It’s encoded into our genetics. We were never meant to live a solitary existence. Mankind sucks at being alone, and loneliness is probably the slowest way to kill someone. Love is only cure for this condition. It has the power to make us want to be more than we ever thought we could be. It breaches the wall that we put up to keep ourselves from getting hurt. It is powerful voodoo. Love is proof that there is more to life than chemicals and biology because it requires us to put someone else’s needs before our own. It makes us defy our own nature and for one split second we are immortal again, basking in the glory of Eden. Love is the road sign that points to eternity. And God has put Himself in the centre of it all.
If we love someone, we get to know them. We want to hear even the most asinine stories about them because love magically makes everything fascinating. When I was going out with Autumn, I went to her curling tournament. I fricken’ hate curling. But I was in love, and in love, I spent 5 hours watching (mostly old people) huck rocks across ice. When I really got bored, I played solitaire by myself. I learned that day love is doing things you don’t want to do simply because it’s important to someone special. And if we see people in God’s eyes, everyone is special.
So if we love God, we should spend time getting to know Him. I really think God likes it we spend time talking to Him. I could go on forever about God being the source of all love, and how knowing Him makes us more like Him, but I don’t think I need to. You either believe it or you don’t. If you believe it, than you should live it.
I think the point of all this is that love makes us do odd things, like “contrary-to-our-own-nature” sort of things. Secondly, love makes life really worth living. And God makes love worth the risk.
For you girls out there, for the sake of all men, please stop expecting your relationships to be like the movies and books…especially the Christian books. The men in them are waaaaay to Christ-like. We just can’t live up to those expectations…the pressure, it’s just too much. There are just not any men who are actually like those guys. There. I said it.
(Before I get too much flack, I believe romance is good. Doing nice things because we love someone is good. I myself am I hopeless romantic. I even enjoyed Francine River’s Redeeming Love because it portrayed Christ’s love very well and it is a beautiful story (although in real life, Hosea would have back-handed that chick by the fourth chapter). But expecting relationships to be “just so” or “happen a certain way” is not cool. It causes too much pressure and does not allow for thing to be natural. Okay. Now I feel vindicated.)

The government IS out to get you.

2006-03-29T18:32:00.000-06:00

Church sucks sometimes.
I don’t blame God. I think I more or less blame the institutionalized church. The one that says a vote for ___ is a vote for Jesus or some silly thing like that, or push political agendas. Historically, politics and Christianity don’t mix well. Personally I believe politics are from the devil, and Christians shouldn’t hang out with the devil. I mean, we probably should vote for someone, and have an opinion on the matter, but government bodies tend have too much power and influence and that sort of thing corrupts people. It’s odd to me the church spends a lot of time telling the youth to avoid worldly things, which is interpreted much of the time as meaning piercing, tattoos and abrasive music. Yet we are encouraged to support a system that has been proven in the past to breed corruption. Government bodies are really good examples of people doing really bad things just to have power. To me, that seems kinda “worldly”. As for piercing, tattoos, and abrasive music, they remain “cool”.
Christians should only be allowed to go into politics if they are called to be missionaries.
Did I mention I don’t like politics?
Another reason I’ve been disillusioned with the North American church is that more and more I feel like it’s become a routine of sorts. I mean, we show up, shake hands, sing some songs, hear someone talk for 20 minutes, than leave for dinner. And everyone feels good about themselves. I dunno. It seems kind of unbiblical.
When I read about the church in the Bible, people are hanging out with the poor and challenging the status quo instead of creating it. That’s why it was persecuted. It stood up for something. Not to say the churches didn’t have some problems…or a lot of problems (those nutty Corinthians)…but people were proactive. It refused to be routine with the trappings of religion.
I know some of you are thinking that I’m being harsh and not all churches are like that. You’re probably right. I guess I just want to see churches as a whole proving God is relevant by maybe giving up some of our personal agenda and perhaps doing what is really counter-cultural: Demonstrating through our actions that we give a damn about people. And show that God really wants everyone to know Him. This includes students, addicts, orphans, merchants, and even those dirty politicians.

Warning! Contains excess of personal opinion!

2006-03-22T16:30:00.000-06:00

I was reading a random blog a while ago, and this guy (I don’t know him personally) said that he loved it when God broke him. Before I go on, let me say that I have nothing against this person (more or less because I have no idea who he is), and he seems like a cool dude. But his perspective kind of made me mad. It was like he was bragging about his spirituality and how he embraced brokenness like it was some state of nirvana. Maybe I’m judging him harshly. Perhaps it was because it was late and I was merely tired. Whatever it was, his comments bothered me.
The more I thought about it, I came to conclude that we should never “love it” when we are broken. We should never embark some “journey of brokenness”. When it happens it will happen. Saying that it is something to look forward to, and something to love, is simply ridiculous.
I say this because being broken sucks. It hurts. And although we need to allow God to do whatever He wants in our lives (or let Him allow painful things into it), brokenness is not a bragging right. Christians don't have some special claim on painful life change. Protestants, Catholics, atheists, Muslims, Jews, and whoever all go through their own personal crisis. Thoughts, ideals, priorities are realigned, altered, and given up for the hope of something better. Sometimes a terrible thing will happen because it is life crashing into us and it tears us apart. We don’t love it. Some will hate God because of it. I believe the power of pain tends to be greatly underestimated.
But I do believe that being broken is a good thing if we allow it to be. It reminds me this movie I watched a long time ago. The movie was terrible, but there is one scene I have always played back in my head over the years: a guy is drowning in a river, and he’s taking his friend down with him because he was in hysterics. So his friend has to punch him in the face to calm him down. He was a good friend.
Sometimes I think that’s what God does to us. The world has walked hand in hand into white-water and it is drowning itself. When we’re scared, we’ll crawl all over each other just for one more breath and one more chance to break the surface. So I think God is perfectly justified if He hits us and yells, “Calm down! Look at me! Pay attention to my voice!”
He’s justified because we’ve overlooked that He’s not merely the life raft. He is also the shore, the sunlight, and the distant horizon. We don’t notice because our attention is on deadly currents and choking lungs. We forget He wants to save us from the water by any means necessary.
So we shouldn’t say we love it when we are broken. For one thing, it makes us liars. Another is that it takes to focus off what we are becoming, providing we let God walk us through it.
(As a disclaimer, trusting God doesn’t mean we get off the hook when it comes to crappy things happening to us. It just means there is someone who is bigger than our circumstances taking care of us, whether or not we feel it.)

Superpower #2

2006-03-21T00:31:00.000-06:00

I wish I could slow time like in the matrix. Than no matter how awkardly I flail my little girl arms, it would look awesome. So I would then pick fights with street gangs, flail away, and kick punk-ass. Next I would learn the ancient art of doing cartwheel flips while firing automatic weapons. And maybe I would do that thing where you hang in the air right before kicking someone in the face. After that, I would shoot bullets at myself and then dodge them.
Juggling would also be much easier.

Fine. I'll write a stupid blog

2006-03-17T15:46:00.000-06:00

So I'm bored, and I decided to read one of those white supremist websites cause...well, I really don't know. I guess that's what people do when they're bored. We read stupid things because it makes us feel automatically smarter than the author of whatever we're reading, making us feel smug. But I digress.
So I'm reading this thing and I am actually congratulating myself that I'm not a racist. I mean, sure I joke about it. I love making fun of the fact that Joe is asian. But whatever. He'll get over it.
I thought about ranting about how dumb it is to be racist and why it makes no sense to think that the Jews and Blacks are out to get us (especially considering the whole slavery thing), but I would be preaching to the choir. Pretty much everyone agrees with that. What's the point of ranting if you're not going to tick someone off? If someone actually disagreed with me about white power, than they are the ones who need to be shipped off to Africa.
Speaking of which, I have a great idea of how to solve racism. We should ship off all the racists to some God-forsaken island. It would be ironic. Then they'll kill each other off because, lets face it, white people always screw things up. I figure an island full of the hate-spewing maniacs would be a recipe for self-destruction.
Anyway, that's my little story. The moral is, ranting is dumb cause no one cares and we usually rant to people who agree with us already.

disregard my last post

2006-02-27T15:11:00.000-06:00

Meh.
Okay, I'm actually writing a screenplay! That is pretty exciting for me.
That's basically all that's new, other than that "other" thing, which you probably all know right now and kind of really sucks...
sigh...I'm going to go hang out by myself now...

So have you heard? You know? The news?

2006-02-02T12:52:00.000-06:00

So yeah...I'm it's true...that stuff you may have heard...yup. All true...most of it...maybe
Unless you heard something untrue...then ask me and I'll clear it up...unless it's a secret...then I'll just be vague and mysterious..
ummm......so.......how 'bout that crazy weather eh?
ummm....
Screw this. I'm going to hang out with Shannon.

The Last Train to Mexico

2006-01-25T16:04:00.000-06:00

Mexico was cool and terrible at the same. Cool being there and experiencing it, but terrible when confronted with the poverty and the corruption that kept change from happening. If you want to here more, ask because there is no way I'm blogging the entire thing. Still, here are some hightlights...
I actually saw a cockfight...
I was attacked by a goat
I was attacked by a thorn bush...it was cool though cause all the girls were fawning over me
Haggeling with the Mexicans at the market. Man, they lied like cheap Persian rugs
Playing soccer and being worked over by the orphans
The church we went to was superfun and the people were awesome.
Hanging out on the roof balcony the base
The walkthrough the desert
Fighting crime as a superhero
Okay, that's it for now. Later

The school is very creepy when no one's around...

2005-12-10T23:06:00.000-06:00

This has been a fast semester. At this very moment I’m sitting alone in the computer room reflecting on it. Hasn’t been a perfect four months by any means, but whatever. Who wants perfection anyway? That’s just another word for boring…
Anyway, here are my semester highlights:
Piper getting a girlfriend…the least lonely person in guys dorm. And we hate him for it.
Breaking my shoulder. Not so much a highlight, but it made me famous, so that’s cool too.
Pantsing a kid on FOM. Hilarious now, very awkward at the time. Lawsuit is still pending.
Sheldon and I having really good conversations late at night. Contrary to popular belief, we are actually friends.
Christmas party…everyone looked like movie stars.
Me and my mom had a couple of really good talks when she came down to visit…those were nice
Hanging it with Steph Allen and realizing she may be more politically incorrect than I am…she also has a potty mouth (GASP)
Playing music with Luke and Merrill
Me and Matt’s epic battle in my dorm room…it was like a clash of the titans…
Any and every intelligent conversation I had with all you crazy people I have come to love…thanks for the time spent.
That’s all I can think of right now…until next time…

I changed this posts title because it was deemed offensive and I felt bad about it

2005-12-09T11:30:00.000-06:00

Now that I have your attention, I just want to say that I don't like finals. I know what your thinking..."everyone hate finals Scott. Big Deal." To that I say...your right. I have absolutely nothing to say of any significant interest. Oh, my band thought up of a name. We got if from a C.S. Lewis poem. And I'm not going to tell you what it is because I am sick of hearing "Wow Scott, that's soooooooooooo emoooooo!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I JUST SAID EMO IN FRONT OF SCOTT AND I THINK THAT IS HILLLLLAAARIOUS BECAUSE THAT I THINK SCOTT IS EMO!!!!!!! EMO QUAD!!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!! THEY'RE NOT EVEN A QUAD!!!! I'M KILLING MYSELF LAUGHING OVER THE IRONY!!! AND THERE ISN'T EVEN ANY IRONY IN THAT STATEMENT!!!!"
Seriously. I'm on the floor rolling. So please, keep it up...I find your insights into my emotional well-being incredibly fruitfull and edifying
Holy crap I actually wrote a blog and it turned into a sweet rant...I'M FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!

Presenting my excuse for not studying...

2005-12-08T21:14:00.000-06:00

A-Age of your first kiss: 14...I was the man!
B- Band you are listening to right now: City and Colour
C- Crush: My little secret
D- Drink you drank last: Coffee
E- Easiest person to talk to: Luke and Merrill
F- Favorite ice cream: Anything with chocolate
G- Gummy worms or gummy bears: Worms are fun
H- Height: 5 ‘8ish
I- Instruments: guitar, vocals,
J- Jelly Flavor: Anything fruity...well, that sounded gay.
K- Kids:2, no more than 3...please Lord no more than 3...
L- Longest car/bus ride: I will be going to Mexico in Jan. So that will be the winner.
M- Major issue: Ummm, getting this semester over with, finding a job, and the like.
N- Nicknames: Scotty-to hotty, Jackie Chan, Scottimcnaughty, Scottalicious, Beam me up Scotty, and a bunch of other equally crappy plays on my name.
O- One wish: Merrill and Luke won’t hurt me for wasting time.
P- Phobia: Heights in general…and being beaten up
Q- Quote: “There is a fist pressing against anyone who thinks something compelling, our intuite we are taught to deny, and our souls we’re told are for selling.”
R- Reasons to smile: I have good friends
S- Shoe size: 8.5ish
T- Time you woke up today: 9:20
U- Unknown fact about me: I am from another planet…soon I will adopt a new identity and take over the world…I’m no pushover…no that’s not true. I am a pushover.
V- vegtables: carrots, peas, green beans, and corn on the cob.
W- Worst Habit: procrastinating, or as I like to call it “Happy fun hour that never seems to end while screwing around on the computer”
X- Xmas gift you really want: A spaceship and world peace
Y-Your favorite drink: Richard’s Honey Brown and almost any milkshake. Jones soda is great too.
Z- Zodiac?: Capricorn…my moon aligns with the equalateral vortex of Saturn in three days…I just make that up.

....

2005-12-06T00:42:00.000-06:00

The boy stares at the screen. If he could see his face, he imagines it would stare back at him with little expression…just pain lingering behind the eyes. Is life hard for him? Not really…he knows that there are people whose bodies are colder than his, whose stomachs are not full…but this night he doesn’t care. Tears swell and he fights them with false bravado.
He wants to talk to someone, but he’s scared to. He wants his pain to be taken seriously, not brushed aside like dust on a windowsill. He had talked to his dad earlier…more of the same lectures about responsibility that he plays in his head whenever he feels like a failure…like tonight…like he has felt for many nights spent in dark rooms…he had also talked to his mom earlier…more talk of taking responsibility…the word is almost like a curse to him. He knows it’s his fault. He feels like a boy, but he should be man.
Somewhere inside he wants to die and see the faces of those who know him as he walks past like a phantom.
Somewhere inside he wants to live…but it’s like he’s forgotten how. The place where is now is far away from the dreams he still clings to, although they are just sand in his hands.
He imagines God standing in the distance, gazing at him with sad, sad eyes…a silhouette in the sun. The boy wants to run to Him, but his feet are lead and his heart is cold granite.
So the boy remains…sick with self-made burdens and self-loathing. If he had one wish, it would be stand and feel his worth…but try as he might, he can’t convince a star to fall. Instead they stare back with cold, flickering eyes, unmindful of the fact that they too may be dead and simply don’t know it yet.

Those crazy mormons

2005-11-24T18:00:00.000-06:00

I was bored (that's usually how I end up doing a blog) and I decided to look up what mormon theology was because I had no idea what they were about. It turns out that they're eff'n nuts. I know, that is a subjective opinion and somewhat condensending, and in truth they're probably the nicest people, but seriously. My favorite doctrines are that God was once a man from another planet, that he has a flesh and bone body and Jesus and Satan are spiritual brothers. Jesus is the man because God liked his plan for salvation better than Satan. Satan got mad and decided to screw around with everything.
I thought about it after a while, and the way I view Mormon theology is probably how I lot of people view our Christian theology. If you think about it and make it deviod of context, the way we see the world is completetly irrational. God coming to earth to die for everyone to take away sins. God being three people in one entity. Without revealing God to the world through us, people are never going to get it. They'll just think we're more white noise in a very loud, colorful world.
During my search I found a really really good website for Christian apologetics. Christian or not, it has some good stuff for anyone who wants to be edified or challenged to think outside of the existential or unitarianistic box. It's www.carm.org. Check it out.

Superpower # 1

2005-11-21T00:04:00.000-06:00

I bored. I'm kinda tired.
Homework tends to bring out all these qualities.
If I had superpowers, I seriously would think my power would be to make a duplicate of myself. This duplicate, hereby called "the clone" would do the work that I consider too menial to complete with my own hands.
This clone would also serve as a body double should I ever should become involved with underworld conspiracies and need to "the clone" to "flush out" such "undesirable characters". Basically, he would take bullets for me.
As of the moment, this superpower is at the top of my list. Until next time, adiou.

I WANNA ROCK!!!

2005-11-13T23:18:00.000-06:00

My weekend was slow. Sheldon went home, so it was me and the room. Lucky for me I like solitude. Dorm life is cool and all, but I love being alone. It's the only time where I can really think. And do drugs (am I joking?)
I'm starting a band with Luke and Merril. We practiced once and it was the coolest thing I did this weekend. Can't think of a name though...usually when we try to think of a cool band name we end of thinking of the most retarded things like "quarterfront" or "the front ally men". My favorite was...well, I actually can't repeat it. When a bunch of goofy guys get together, things get weird quick. The point is we have a band going.
I wish I could write continous witty anecdotes about life around the school and have them be cronological in order. The thing is, I can't commit to that. Sheldon is the man for being constistant that way. Me, I'm more of an introspective "this is what's in my head/this is how I see things" kind of writer. Speaking of which, do people actually find that sort of thing entertaining? I don't know. If it's well done I'll read pretty much anything myself. Meh, whatever. I'm going to get more caffeine.

Buzzed on coffee

2005-11-13T04:20:00.000-06:00

It’s almost to late in the night to be up. Thing is, I’m actually doing homework and I’ve decided to take a break. So here I am, blogging, high on caffeine and it's artificial energy…
I wish I could be one of those writers always has funny or witty things to say, or at least profound things that come out not sounding cliché and lame. I suppose I have my moments, but for someone who wants to write a book I should be more ambitious about it. Yes, that’s right. I’m a closet writer. There are probably a lot of things people don’t know about me. Hmmm. Well, since it’s late and I’m feeling particularity willing to be vulnerable, I’ll be transparent for a bit.
I feel trapped sometimes. I don’t mean trapped as “I’m emo and my emotions are taking over my life.” I mean it as I’m stuck and I don’t know how to feel about it. I love school, and I love the city, but I have to fight the urge just to leave it behind and do something else. Like hang out in Europe for a while or find a job in Quebec. Something different. Something gorgeous and new.
My dreams don't resolve themselves. They never have a conclusive finish. Just a vague blurry image of what could be and what isn’t. Life is like that I think. Full of loopholes and full of mist. As far as I’m concerned the only thing that resolves in this life is God. Beyond that it’s just vapour.
I want to fall in love. I want to meet her. I look in her eyes, and have my inner voice say, “there she is”. Then maybe I’ll smile, or even laugh. I don’t know. I’ll do something silly and impractical. I want us to argue about little things of no consequence. Not real arguments with the dish throwing and the door slamming. I mean the cute ones about me going out in public with ridiculous hair. I hope she’s a poet. A good one I mean. I’ve always wanted to fall in love with a poet. I hope she likes outrageousness, because I love being politically incorrect. I hope she inspires me. I hope I deserve her.
Just for the record, I’m not actually looking for a relationship, but I feel the longing. It has really nothing to do with God per se. I’m could be perfectly content without any romantic liaison. But the “want” is there.
I looked through pictures of my ex-girlfriend. We had planned on getting married. Most people don’t know that. It’s actually a good thing it never happened because I think it would have been a disaster. Anyway, it made me remember a lot of things, like who I was and who I am now. I see the change, and I feel it. In all honesty, we both weren’t very mature in the relationship. We treated each other good, for the most part, but we lacked a certain respect for each other. That almost sounds like a used-up word these days. Which is too bad. Marriages would last longer with it.
I guess I miss her sometimes. Not in the romantic way. Just the comfort we had. I felt safe with her. Autumn was her name. It’s a pretty name. She is beautiful too. Despite the break-up, I still believe she’s beautiful inside. I never thought I would ever say that. I guess I am over it.
Well, back to the homework

My very own rant

2005-11-03T16:41:00.000-06:00

My overdue assignment is staring back at me. The book lies nearly forgotten on the desk. I feel tired and frustrated. All last week I tell myself “Just do it, get it over with, this isn’t very hard”. It turns out I’m my own worst motivational speaker. It is hard. I can’t do it, and have no inspiration. There. I said it. Last week all my assignments were due from when I broke my shoulder, and now, I’ve only finished two. I have four left. Why am I even here?
Spiritually, I feel good. I want to minister. I crave it. I want the opportunities and am going to start on something. Academically, I think I’m barely on the radar screen. I know the material. I have the ability to do it. If I applied I would actually get good marks. But it’s like I’m chiselling at stone tower trying to make it fall down. Are my assignments so epically important? Do they change my life? I don’t know. I’m just, not happy.
This isn’t how I pictured my year. I was going to do my work and get it done. The beginning wasn’t so bad, but stuff happened and now I’m hanging by the proverbial thread. I guess I had just hoped things would have gone differently…
I could make excuses for myself, but I don’t have any. At the base level, the problem lies in the fact I’m feeling overwhelmed, useless and insipid. I’m not happy. I’m my own victim.
It’s not all about the assignments either. There’s always other stuff, but I think my overdue homework is a microcosm of everything that feels wrong in my life.
Do you ever picture something beautiful in your head, something you want to happen? Like walking arm in arm with someone you love by the river, snow hanging in trees and coloring the ground. The picture you have is so perfect it’s almost a memory. But it’s not real. It’s just something you made up because what is real leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
My book still sits alone on the desk. I loathe the sight of it.

My bro's coming to see me!!!!!!

2005-09-16T18:40:00.000-06:00

I know I know. I’m the worst writer here. Not consistent whatsoever. Oh well. Life goes on. The Used, Underoath, and Alexisonfire are coming down this weekend, and it should be a show of epic proportions. And now since Ben is coming down, I believe this may be the weekend to end all weekends.
As for school, it’s turning out to be the best year ever. My spiritual life has taken a serious adjustment, and in my heart I feel that God is moving in all our hearts.
This is kind of unlike me. Those who know me well know that I’m a bit conservative with spiritual things, but the wall that kept me confined has been brought down and I feel…really good. Fantastically good. For those who are reading this I don’t have an idea what I’m talking about, don’t worry about it. God catches up to us sooner or later. I couldn’t escape no matter how much I tried. He will always chase us.

In the computer room......

2005-09-09T14:47:00.000-06:00

Soooooo.....I have no idea what to write as of this moment. I've been looking through my previous posts, and I kinda sound like a raving idiot in a lot of them. So this time around I'm going actually write in a more, hmmm, sophisticated tone. That being said, I have no idea what else to add. Maybe I'm just not sophisticated...okay, next time I write, I'll have a good idea on what to actually write about and I'll make it a real post. Until next time then.

I'm baaaaaaaack!!!!!!!

2005-09-08T13:18:00.000-06:00

Well, school has started again and so it's back to the blog. It's good to see the old gang again, and I've met some wicked awesome freshies. That being said, I think this will turn out to be a grand adventure of a year. I know what you're all wondering. Your thinking, "what on earth are your goals for the year Mr. Wilson?" Good question.
1. Stop being a procratinating jerk
2. Save someone's life
3. Become a superhero
4. When I say I'm going to do homework, I'll actually do my homework
Got to go to class now. That's all for now.

New stuff

2005-04-08T10:40:00.000-06:00

I know I haven't blogged for ages and no one is probably checking this, but whatever.
The following people are the coolest people on the face of the planet...
Starla - Extreme energy and girl-power.....from concentrate.
Luke - blackest wannabe white guy in the world
Sheldon - the only superhero that is not rich, has fancy gadgets, and absolutely no superpowers.
Erin - She's insane, but she truly appreciates the art of massage.
Joe - BWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Megan - She dates weirdos
Sarah - She dates weirdos
Paul Ford - Mr. CPC himself. Wasn't going to add him but he walked in the room with a SUIT no less!!!
Reba - "I can't believe how much lusting is going on in the room right now."
Vadez - Worlds loudest laugh, and has a dark secret in his room.
Scott Wilson - I bought new shoes and got my ears pierced...I have no shame

My ears are ringing and I'm scared....

2005-03-23T15:07:00.000-06:00

Okay, last night was an experience that I won't soon forget. I was at the Taste of Chaos tour, and it was loud, sometimes obnoxious, but oh what fun I had. Ten Second Epic opened up with a nice accoustic set. After that Sao sin opened with a real decent set. By this time I was getting nice and sweaty (I'm can be an BEASTMAN during concerts...I'd like to think so anyway....sigh....) and then I think Static Lullaby played, and they weren't bad, but they had an attitude that kind of made me mad ("you guys over there aren't moshing enough so you f***iing suck!!"). Okay, that's not an exact quote, but pretty close. I think Sences Fail told on side of the show to eff themselves because they weren't doing enough of whatever they were expecting. That just makes me angry. We spent our money and we'll move how we want darn it!! Don't tell me how to move. Either way, I was moving quite a bit when I wasn't sitting down with Merril and Ben and the rest of the gang. Nolan we lost in like the first 5 seconds of the show. Needless to say he had a good time. For the record, I realized I hate Killswitch Engage. Not so much the music...okay, I'm lying. It was the music. Way too much metal for my liking. Piper would have like the guitars though....sometimes anyway. And the melodies were so repetive. Scream, sing sort of melodically during the choruses, lather, rince, repeat. Oh well. For the most part, everything was going good and it was a lot of fun.
Then My Chemical Romance came on....yeah. They were incredible. Their lead singer is a seductive man I tell you. He called Saskatoon "sexy", and then later on he pointed to a group of people of to the side and he called them "extra sexy". He didn't threaten us with the F-bomb like so many band do. He just encouraged us to have fun. And he was smooth on the stage. Good times. And finally The Used came on. I'm a huge fan of them. Seriously. I love them. Burt came on smoking a cigarette, and the music just blew me away. And they are solid live. No sour notes (his voice did wear out a bit, but when you scream its what happens). I really can't get into detail about it all, basically because what else is there to say other than they were (insert explicitive/adjective) amazing. When they started On My Own I actually thought Megan was going to explode. After their set was done, My Chemical Romance came on and both bands did a David Bowie song called Under Pressure. That alone was worth the 40 dollars. Well, for me anyway. So there it is in a nutshell. My most anticipated concert of the year. (so far)

Schien!!! Guntz grund!!!

2005-03-19T00:18:00.000-06:00

Why do Satuday's suck so much when you're at college? I have wasted my life today, hours which I will never get back. I rolled up a rim today and got the regular "Please Play Again"....
I really could have used that 1000 bucks. OR the SUV...yeah that would be sweet. If I won it, I could sell it. Sheldon's idea was to drive it recklessly with the intention of eventually rolling it. Hey, those things are made to be safe...I think. Either way, it would be one hard choice.
Okay, this is how bored I was. I spent a good part of my day reading white supremacy websites and what not. You may not know this, but apparently Jews control the world, and black people are all drug addicts and thugs, and asians are just plain evil (sorry Sarah). The best they could do for natives and hispanics was call them "greasy". So there you have it. White people have it all figured out and we're better than you all (I'm slighly native so shhhhh!). So if you're not white and you happen to be reading this, you should feel bad about yourselves. Oh, for you crazy Jews, give us our world back jerks...or we'll write factless essays and make up stuff about you. Stuff like Hitler was a pacifist and that guy who blew up Oklahoma is a political prisoner.
I find odd that white supremacist (WS) usually call themselves Christians, but they hate Jews. The logical conclusion is that Jesus is white, cause you can't love Jesus if He's a Jew...If that's the deal then God is white too. So God hates everyone not white, and that's basically most of mankind. So that being said, we need to send black people back to Africa, and stop the Jews from slowing our birthrate by infecting our water, and ummm, stop eating chinese food....RISE UP BRETHREN AND BE HEARD!!!!!!
Problem is I know any black people...how can I send them back to Africa if I don't know any? Holy Homeland it's late!!!! I'm going to bed.
Heil duthvien!!! Sheiclkstanzle franze!!!
People are jerks

What have I done!!!!

2005-03-17T09:50:00.000-06:00

It's all gone...ash is everywhere...darkness covers the world...I've destroyed it all...gone, gone...all gone.
How could have this have happened? Civilization is in chaos...it's all broken...it won't come back...I can't make it come back...I'm cold...but fire is burning what remains of the earth...a tragedy beyond mere words...oh that I should live to see such evil days...
How could I...how could I let this happen...
I forgot to roll the rim on my Tim Horton's cup...I can't bring it back...I'll never have the moment...
My dreams...smoking in ruin...ash fills all of my sences...please...
FORGIVE ME!!! TIM HOOOOORTON!!!!!!! (sob)

My year so far (it's good to read cause I mention names!!!)

2005-03-13T17:47:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure what's I"m blogging about. As of the moment. I should really be doing homework (what else is new). But the computers at the school have just gotten up and running, so I feel the need to take advantage. This year is almost over (school year that is), and it has been one of the most insane years of my life. I'm always going to look back on it with a mixture of fondess and perhaps even a bit of sadness. When I get older, I guess it will be called nastalgia. When I consider what has happened, I'm pretty sure everyone here is clinically insane. But that's okay. Who wants to be normal anyway. I think maybe it's easier just to skip the whole process and jump right in. But I digress...
I came here with a girlfriend, but we went are seperate ways after a few months...and I'm okay with that. There was a point in where I thought the pain of loss was too much to bear, but in all honesty, thank God for the guys in the dorm. They just listened to me, and that's all I really needed at the time. I guess I never properly thanked them...so...thanks. It meant more than you guys probably realize.
Three words. Sarah and Megan. Sarah is probably the catalyst for all and any insanity that occurs in and outside the classrooms. She's loud, she's eccentric, but she's has a wonderful heart. And is there anyone in dorm cuter than Megan K.? Friggen' models.
Roomate #1- Danial Piper. Or Piper as we call him. From Steve Vai to Jump 5 to Britney Spears, the man has absolutely no shame when it comes to music. Which is good. He is an amazing guitar player, and probably the nicest guy you'll ever meet. Indeed.
Roomate #2 - Sheldon Farough. If I spelt his last name wrong, he will probably threaten to kill me, like he does most nights. But it's all in good fun. Sheldon is the comic book guru of our time. He is also Spiderman, the Hulk, and Captain America all in one, not to mention one of the funniest guys I have ever met. Who else but Sheldo would stick a chicken wing, a light bulb, I think an apple, and whatever else we would throw at him into his belly button (not all at same time)? Oh yeah, once he put change in there when he went to Tim Hortons. That makes him a legend automatically.
Justin V. - He owes me 20 dollars, but I'm not going to beat him up cause he's just one cool guy. And he's "good friends" with Megan K. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Courtney Bowman - So subtle, so composed, but I think she has a crazy side somewhere. Either way, she's a girl after God's own heart.
Kuffner - Brilliant at times, just plain weird at other, Nolan is a tough guy to define. But he likes music, he can scream, and he writes funny stories and great lyrics. Love that guy, but he's got to stop beating me up at nights.
Erin Rust - Erin has a deep side that I think only the tip of the iceburg. She can be tired in one second, than hyper in the next, but still be a lot of fun at the same time. At one point in time I thought she was kinda scary, but now, I see that she's just...not scary at all. She's not afraid to speak her mind, or make fun of me without provocation. She love emo-punk, is sort of a punk herself, and is a TON off fun to hang out with. She is allergic to iron and jocks. Oh, and she hates mushrooms. Recently she started singing INTO A MICROPHONE NO LESS!!! And she's really good. Although, she says really odd things when she doesn't know she's being recorded...
Luke - in the little time that I have known him, he has become one of my best friends. Sensitive, good looking, romantic, fast learner on guitar, he is a blast to hang around. Gives great massages too. But he has a desperate urge to be black. Luke is the whitest guy I know.
Those of you I have missed, I apologize. I can only write so much, but I love you all, and I'm going to miss you if you don't come back next year. Thanks for making it memorable.

Well, it has finally happened...

2005-03-11T17:50:00.000-06:00

I got pranked and pranked good. While taking a cat nap, I found what appeared to be a used pad (you know, "menstration cycles") under my pillow. We had open dorm last night, so there was a huge opportunity. For sure it was Sarah who put it there, cause she's freakin insane. Anyway, I was incredibly p.o.'d. I mean come on, I had just slept the grossest thing known to man-kind. So I talked to Piper, and Ms. Antle got involved, and she's planning on talking to the girls...that makes it really funny for me. It turns about, as the vavacious Erin informed me, the blood in the thing was fake. Which is a relief, cause my pillow is covered in it. So, I'm not really all that sorry about getting mad, cause that was part of the prank, nor am I concerned about Ms. Antle getting involved, cause that's just fricken' hilarious. I'll smooth it out...anyways, that was probably the best prank that's I have seen in a long time.
As for the rest of the day, Erin and I have been working on a song. Then I'm going to record it and get lots and lots of marks....oh yes...Erin's hot...hot as the core of the sun itself.
Oh, and I'm going to a gig. Drive by Punch. They better be really good or I'm going to punch them in the face!!! hahahahahaaha! Now that's wit! Dave Letterman, watch out.
Sorry Courtney.

Luke's Freakin' Birthday!!

2005-03-09T14:30:00.000-06:00

For all of those who don't know, it was Luke's birthday yesterday. He's now 19. So here's what Luke, Sarah Jane, Erin and I did for it.
We went to the train bridge and umm, basked in the smokey greatness of the outdoors.
Then we went to the Saskatoon Inn (Luke works there and we can get deals on food), so we ordered spinich dip, and....water. Good clean Godly water.
So it was a nice Christian birthday with in which we did nothing wrong.
Me, Luke and Erin also listened to Armour for Sleep for a while in the studio. Such a good CD. Man I love that CD. Way better than Pearl Jam.
Oh, and I'm making a public apology for accidently insulting Erin Rust today at lunch. I'm having guilt issues. Not really guilty per se, more of a feeling like a retard. Can I say "retard" on a blog?
Anyway, I'm bored.

(p.s. hey, I finally wrote a blog at a decent time for once!)

Why Incubus is the world's greatest band....

2005-03-06T01:15:00.000-06:00

Okay, I said that I would write about music one of these days, so I'm finally getting around to it.
I bought the 2nd volume of the 1st Incubus DVD today, and it was amazing....they are just an incredable band. They've gotten some flak because of the controversy over their name. In case you didn't know, an incubus (in mythology or medieval crap) is a spirit/demon that rapes or impregnates (depending on who you ask) women in their sleep. Yes, it is an unfortunate name, but they did not know at the time of choosing their name what it meant. Mike (the guitar player) was looking in a thesaurus and found the name. So they all thought it was cool, and Incubus it was. When they found out what the name meant, they decided to keep with it as that was the name they were known for. Their lyrics or lifestyles have nothing to do with the name, so you really can't judge them on that alone.
Another reason why they may be controversial for some (especially Christians) is the language on a couple of the albums, (especially S.C.I.E.N.C.E. and Make Yourself). As for me personally, I have no problem with the language because it doesn't bother me, it doesn't affect or change the overall theme of the songs, God's name is never used in vain, and the language is never used in a sexual or gross way. It's more of an emphasis thing. This is my own subjective opinion of course. If you never want to listen to language in music, I totally respect that. Their Morning View has no language whats so ever and the lyrics are fluid and thought out nicely.
(on a minor note, Brandon Boyd (the lead singer) probably wrote some of his lyrics while high on pot...they are non-christians, so I don't expect them to live up to Christian ethics because that simply not where they are at in their lives. They are simply just guys that don't know God...should I really be surprised? They definately are way cleaner in lifestyle than the high majority of rock bands that are out there.) Now lets move past the controversy...
Here is why I love them:
1) Each album shows a progressive maturity in lyrics, musicianship, artistry, and vision.
2) The individual band members are among the best in their field in terms of what they do (this is arguable I know, but the talent that is there is impossible to miss.)
3) They have their own definable sound.
4) They are an ethnic group (drummer - hispanic, bass player - first one was white, the new one is black, DJ - black, guitar player - whity macwhite, lead singer - an odd mix of what seems to be hispanic, white and even asian...I dunno.)
5) They take their music very seriously and do an incredible live show. (Seriously, I hear their concerts are epic.)
6) The first album that I bought from them was Morning View and it changed my life with how I viewed music and how much life creativity can inject into sound.
7) Brandon Boyd is an INCREDIBLE vocalist, and my musical/artistical hero.
So there you have it. That's all I can think about right now. Good night.
(P.S. why do I always post at like 1AM? This has to stop!!!)

2005-03-05T00:53:00.000-06:00

Tonight I feel...strange. Sheldon's gone for the night, as well as more than half of the guys dorm, so I suppose this is could partly be a product of that. I was supposed to work on some assignments in the studio today, but I took a nap that turned into a 3 hour sleep, so I just had time to make it to my Christian service. Tommorow I must do my work, or I will feel the wrath of Mr. Puls. You can't fake not doing your homework for very long when your the only one in the class.
Okay, back to this strangeness. If I were to put into my own words, I would say that I feel like pieces of me are scattered over a great distance. That would probably sounds odd to whomever is reading this, but I did say I felt strange. I don't know. Somehow it's like I'm disconnected from the world around me. I'm not going to try and reason it out for the time being because it's actually sort of a pleasant feeling. It's like I'm observing life from a telescope, knowing everything about what I see through the lense without affecting how it interacts. The only thing is, as of the moment I'm not sure what I see. I lack clarity. Maybe that's not such a bad thing either. Now I have the challenge of sorting out how I feel and perhaps even discovering a great lesson in the process....
The stars are incredible tonight. Even with the light from the city, they are still very much decernable. When I lived in Tisdale, nights like this would mean a short walk around the block. Considering what is unattainable, but so beautiful, humbles a man. At least it should...
either that, or I should stop writing blogs at one in the morning. Later.

Chaos Through Cold Glass

2005-02-28T01:56:00.000-06:00

She opens the door and sheds the cold...
I become a ghost in orbit, clothed in memories translusent and delicate
at this moment she is the epitamy of my existance,
or the focal point of my navigation
I cling to the air like dust in sunlight
She is an enigma...a perfect code
I bid farewell to the typical as I hover
This room has become my universe,
I bind myself to it's laws and dimentions.
I have no power here, nothing to mold or manipulate
All that exists are two bodies in distant interaction,
One celestial in form and substance,
The other merely vapour in motion,
a ghost in solid state.

The Act of Being Human

2005-02-27T15:50:00.000-06:00

Sheldon (my roomate) is on the phone with his mom, so I figure this was as good time as any to do another blog. I'd rather use his computer ever since the Scott Blog Tragedy of '05...it was only a few days ago, but the pain is still fresh in my mind (how's that for emo, eh Courtney?).

Pastor John talked about unity today...unity among Christians. Interesting topic really. I wonder sometimes if we're the most ununified body of religion in the world. I mean, how many denominations and churches are there that distrust other churches simply because they're Pentecostal or Baptist or Lutheran, and they've "heard some things" about those churches. I mean, when are we going to grow up? What happened to being of the same Body? God must shake His head sadly when we argue over matters of indifference...we're missing the entire point! John Wesly said that though we are always going to think differently, is it not possible to love equally?
I suppose this all is part of the act of being human. We get our values and priorities confused when we place more emphasis on culture, idealogies, and individual preferance than we do on the act of loving unconditionally. When we are blinded this subjectiveness, than we become more concerned that someone is or isn't raising their hands in worship than if they are need of healthy fellowship...could it be that there is nothing spiritually wrong with raising or not raising hands? Churches get torn apart because of matters such as these. That is not love. Heaven-forbid we ever think God is moving when a church is split over such trivial and asanine matters. And if we want to love as Jesus loved we need to be in tune with the Father.
Without God in the equation, we are hopeless to love because of the human condition. Love requires us to sacrifice ourselves, but selfishness, ego and the like act as a barrier to truly express what love is supposed to be. We want the perfect relationships, but we will always fall short of what we expect them to be because our desires and expectations are confused with worldy priorities. What's important according to the world is ash and dust compared to what God has placed first in His heart. Now, add God to the human condition. Places in our lives where we fall short because of our inherent humaness, God enters in and fills in the gaps. So when it comes to love, knowing the character and quality of how God loves becomes the standard for how we are to interact with our brethren.
Anyway, this is my sermon for today...Sheldons being a jerk and he want his own computer...man he's a jerkface loser....hahahahahaha....

Pranks that go wrong...

2005-02-25T16:40:00.000-06:00

Last night I spent like 2.5 hours on a blog...sadly, I lost it forever. So I'm going to sort of redo it, but in not so much detail. I don't think I could take that kind of loss again. So here we go...

It would seem a certain Justin V. sent one Megan K. an email using the address of none other than Sheldon F. Needless to say it was one of the funnest nights I've had in dorm in a while (not quite as good as the Cold Cream Marathon of 2004, but it's up there). The email contained Sheldon's secret "confession of love" for Megan...the details are sketchy, but apparently "whip cream" and "dream" were used in the same sentence. Of course this was all a set up for dear Megan. Sheldon was in on it, and he played his part like a trooper. When I say played, the man played her like an italian guy plays a violin to his girlfriend hoping not to get caught by any one of his other girlfriends (player? get it? nevermind). Anyway, while he was on msn with her, he never let on and basically confused her beyond understanding....good times.
Sadly the prank ended today...Sheldon fessed up to Megan because he wanted to get back at Justin and Piper (who was there at the time). His plan was to make a big conspiracy and pretend like the email got blown way out of porportion and make like the school was tearing apart and everyone hated him. But Megan blew it and ask Justin if he really did write the email and that killed it. Sigh....oh well. Life goes one....Sheldon and I will think of something though....like a Draino Bomb or something....